Insecure.

Yes. that's right. Nancy is insecure. About a lot of things, surprisingly so, she's just too damn proud to actually show like she cares about that stuff. A lot of what I'm insecure about has to do with what I am in comparison to others. And I do that a lot. Comparing myself to people leads me to being insecure which leads me to doubting myself which leads to a whole big thing of other stuff. And in doing this, I find it hard to believe that I can be enough, that I'm acceptable as a person to love and a person to care about. The more I do this, the more I question my own value, my own worth. But honestly, I have to say, it's pointless to compare oneself to others. Love [brotherly, sisterly, relationships, friendships] is not about comparisons. It's not about choosing based on a checklist of some sort, and it's not about pointing out faults or weaknesses. This is something I still have yet to fully realize. Point is, no matter how much of a screw up someone is, if you love 'em...it's inside out, forever and always, you hold nothing of the past against them, and any insecurity on their part will be proven unnecessary because of all this.

~blog therapy. 's crazy, but it works. So far.


I promise not to kill myself,
~Nancy