Since the beginning of May, I have had a cough. An annoying, persistent, unhealthy cough. I'm not absolutely sure why it's there, but it's there. The doctor only gave me a short explanation that doesn't really makes any sense, and he gave me some medication and it seems to be working...kind of.. slowly but surely...
But because of this ailment of mine, my mother does not permit me to swim my heart out. At first, not swimming did seem to help a little bit...I got the rest that I needed...but now, when I'm swimming and after I'm swimming...I feel like I'm not sick. But when I don't swim...and when I'm just lazing around at my place being moody and pissed at the world...I just feel so dead. Unfortunately for me, unless I properly give this cough a beating, I am not going to be allowed to swim full-time. And personally, I'm not sure what the chances of that happening are. My mom promised that I could swim as much as I wanted in July, but with the specification that I felt up to it by her standards. Well, July is coming in one week. I've gotten a lot better,but I'm not completely sure if it'll be gone by then or not. All I can do is try my best and pray to God it'll go away.
Meanwhile, my mother's paranoia is starting to grow. Today, she spontaneously decided to take me to the radiologist to get my set of breathers x-rayed. I certainly hope nothing comes out of it. Yesterday, a friend of mine asked me what my deepest fear was...I've figured out the answer to that question. I'm afraid of dying young and not being able to live out my life. There are dreams that I have that are yet to be realized, things that I want to do, places I want explore...My deepest fear is of not having enough time to do those things.
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