Silly Me

She's a Cutter

For the person in agony



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That first night, blood dripped
It felt so free
The harm she's done
Why can't she see?

Outside, so beautiful
"Life's great, no lies"
But I can see, I can hear
the soul that cries

Stalks up to her room
the blade is in her hand
To stop seeing red
She cuts away, and it feels grand

Hugs herself in the night
But she won't let those eyes cry
"Tears are for the weak" she says...
"I'd rather die"

"Who the fuck gives a shit?
"I see no hands raised
"I wanna wreck myself inside
"And for these actions, I'm praised"

"No one else is getting hurt
"what I'm doing isn't wrong"
But if only she knew
that I was writing this song...

Because I love her so much
and can't watch scars being made
If I could take her place for her
I'd gladly make the trade

I just need her to know
Life isn't always about "staying strong"
And held to human flesh
is not where a knife belongs

So I'm screaming "Please...stop!"
But she just can't hear
To words like "I care" and "You're beautiful"
She's deaf in the ear

But how can I stand by
and watch this tragedy take place
Someone has to take action
before it's her death we all face

...Maybe what she deals with
I just can't understand
But in case she chooses to jump
I'll have a safe spot for her to land.

I'm In Love

So I got to thinking about life and all that... and I've realized that I love a lot of people. But knowing that I love them and having them know that I love them isn't enough.

I have to do something about it. I have to act.

What am I gonna do when one of them rushes to me for help? What am I gonna say when they desperately need some advice?
I've realized a pattern in my ways. I never tell them the answer.

Because I don't have the answer.
Who the hell am I to know what's right and wrong for someone else? I can only answer that for myself.
My pattern is that...I always ask them what they want to do...how they feel...what feels right for them...what will make them happy?

Because I learned awhile ago...Love isn't ever about yourself. It's not about how THEY make YOU feel...It's all about how you want them to feel. What you're willing to sacrifice for them to make them happy, for their sake and not for your own gratification.

That's why the crucifixion is such a perfect demonstration of what love is. That's why it's caused so much craziness...

The prime example of complete and unadulterated love. Laying down your life for someone else'.

I'm in love. And I'd hope that if the opportunity ever presented itself that I should be able to give up my own for those I love... I'd take it.

Tired

I'm so very tired. Absolutely exhausted.

I'm not the sharpest tool in the box.

I have now officially lost both of my USB ports.

='(

Happy New Year.

I love you all. Especially you.

Grad shoes. :)

So um... yeah. $30 at Le Chateau. On Boxing Day. Yes, indeed, I think I won. Hahah.

But the story with these heels go much further than just Boxing day. I just fell in love with them when I first saw them at Grandview Corners all the way back in October I think. but they were $45 at the time and I was not loaded that day. I really liked them a lot though. And then just last week, I saw them again! at Surrey Central and they were $40...I must admit, I was quite tempted...after all, what are the chances of seeing them again! AND they were even cheaper than last time...but I didn't...I held back. And I made a deal with God about shoes. Haha. I talked to him and said that if I saw them one more time, I was gonna buy them, so...if he didn't want me to get them for grad, he'd better not let them in my sight again. I was also sure that if I ever saw them again, it would be on Boxing day. :)

So boxing day came around, and shoes aren't really that big of a deal to me... I'm a stingy type of cheap person...mommy and daddy never paid for all the worldly goods I wanted and I learned values from that. These shoes were different. So the third time that I saw them on Boxing Day...I asked the girl for my size...6 to try 'em on and make sure I could not only walk, but run in them. :) and I could.

Apparently, the pair I got was the last pair they had in my size and they were $29.99 so...yeah....I'm very satisfied.

Grad dress: $83
Grad shoes: $30
Grad date: Priceless. ;)