Lead the Way

Lead the way
Through the fog and smoke
Away from dreary dreams
from dark despair
Lead the way..
&& I'll follow...

heysothisisn'tmeanttobesuperseriousoranythingsojustchillaxcauseimtotesgoatsawesometastical.. word.

So hey, I don't have a diary anymore, kinda gave that up a loooooong time ago so i guess this will just have to do. most of it you probs won't understand anyways so i'm not too freaked about puttin' this lump of my brain into the internet so here goes.....
I am trying my hardest not to fall out of the hot air ballon here. wanna know why? it's cuz i know that there is absolutely no way a trampoline shall magically appear beneath me. even if i did fall out, i'd probs jus' have to get up myself 'cause no one will be there to help me up. well....not NO ONE, more like no one I really truly want. && even if they were there, they'd probs jus' stand around lookin' awkward and out of place having nothing to say only having things to type.

So let's say for curiousity's sake I did happen to fall out of my precious hot air balloon in the sky and there's no trampoline. so instead of falling on the trampoline, i get to land in a pile of bs. nice. of course The Oyster Man and Miss Quinceanera are there to tell me how horrid i smell while helpin' their crap-covered friend up but whatever happened to Mr.Magical Champignon? Oh yeah, he's busy pretending to be wallpaper.

and while i'm sitting there lookin' like my cat had just died, Lady Smiles-A-Helluva-Lot asks me if i wanna have a quote-on-quote "Heart Talk" and now instead of thinking about what I was thinking about before, I'm thinking "wtf is a "Heart Talk" "
.....thinking back now, i'm wondering why tf did I not go ahead and have a freakin' "Heart Talk"???

Oh right.
I was waiting for the invisible trampoline.

Next time, I'll bring a parachute because I know there will be a next time. and hopefully I'll land next to the bs, not in.

&&& if I have to read another 'sorry' so help me, I will
tell you that it's okay and that I forgive you
because I do.


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Umm.....excuse me...yes, you the one holding a substantial amount of my figurative heart in the palm of your freakin' hand. If you're feelin' a lil clumsy today, mind putting it in a box or something? or keepin' it somewhere safe? 'Cause I don't got a whole lot of those lying around.
thanks. i appreciate it. ^_^

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"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth"

--- 1 John 3:18

That goes for all o' y'all.

some weird/depressing crap that i found in my documents folder...

Untitled
It’s an endless circle of hurt
Hurled time and time again
At the brick wall
Blood everywhere washing over soon-to-be scars
Yet I wish it was that feeling that actually happened
Rip me, Tear me. Hurt me
That’s what you’re meant to do
Tears well up in my eyes
Bite my lips to hold them back
It’s happening
All over again
It cannot be healed
It cannot be suppressed
It cannot be calmed
Uncontrollable hurt
Raging pain everywhere
Hurt! Hurt! Hurt!
It’s happening
All over again
You can’t escape it.....

Untitled 2:

The lonely road is before us.
And as I walk through it I remember past happenings
Things that are long gone
Back then, the past was life
So now is this life now past?
Are we the past of the future?

Unwanted Solitude:

Stuck all alone
In this cold wide setting
I am helpless in this scene
And I am seen as helpless
A hopeless, helpless, friendless being
By myself, I walk through these hallways
Through crowded corridors of a mingling species
Kind to their familiars
But isolating others not yet known to them
Isolating strange new creatures
Those who are different
And those who are misunderstood
A hard place it is to be
In this scenario
Stuck all alone.
Or are we the future of the past.....

According to what little I know..

Love is when the other person's needs matter more thnyour own. It is when the only time you can be happy is when you are sure that they are.Love, unlike most other things, perseveres through everything.
Love lasts forever.

Infatuation is when your needs are more important than the other person's. It's when the relationship only lasts as long as it's convenient for you.
Infatuation is a cheap copy.


F.A.Q's

Q.How in the world can you tell the difference?

A. Only time will tell...

I turn around..

...and the feelings that rushed through me when I saw his face showed me the inevitable. I finally reconciled with the one truth that I had been denying for so long. I loved him.

Who are YOU?!

I'm confused...are you still my friend?
Cause that's what you said.
'best friends til the end'
But it doesn't make sense when I call and you're out
and I don't get a call back.
and it adds to the doubt...
It's really fine; I don't care
if you moved on and left me behind
I just don't think it's fair
to just leave me to find
that my friend just left me
without a single word...
and that lies and fake promises
were the last things I ever heard
.....

one of those things to brighten your day...:)

Talking Dog for Sale

This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the mutt replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had mejetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, cause no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.
"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says "Ten dollars."
The guy says he'll buy him, but asks the owner, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him for $10?"
The owner replies, "He's such a liar."

the truth is...

love isn't just 'i miss you so much...'

love is 'you're such a weirdo......but i still miss you anyways'